"God, Bina, why did you go with her?"

Lash had completely stopped paying attention to the handcuffs and was staring at me.

"'Cause I'm awesome," said Sam. "And everything I do is entertaining."

"No, shut up Sam," said Lash, "I'm serious Bina, that sounds really dangerous."

"Uh," I didn't really know how to answer that one, so I just fiddled with the empty handcuff loop. "I guess because it sounded fun? I mean, we were at Adventure Camp, right? So, this sounded like an adventure. Like, a real one. I dunno. I mean, dangerous, yeah, but better then canoing."

"AND because I'm awesome."

I heard Lash change position beside me.

"Bina?"

"Uh huh." I didn't want to look at her, so I just hid behind my hair. It HAD been a really dangerous idea! She thought I was an idiot, I knew it! She thought I was an idiot and -



"It's just, um, you've - sort of - locked us together."

I looked down.



"Oh!" I could feel my cheeks getting hot. Why did I always have to blush!? "I'm sorry! Look! Look, I'll just use the button-ey-thing and unhook us, I'll - I'm sorry! Really! I -

"It's ok Bina," said Lash, catching my hand, I was shaking, "Calm down! It's OK! No, calm down. What's going on with you?"

I wanted to tell her the truth. I wanted to tell her that the story that Sam was telling was making me incredibly anxious, because our night time adventure of two years ago hadn't been a nice experience in the first place. On top of that, it made me look very young, very scared, and very silly and I didn't want her to think I was any of those things. I wanted her to think I was grown-up, and brave, and cool.

Worse then that, I'm was sitting very, very close to her, I was absolutely terrified that she was, somehow, going to figure out that I desperately wanted to kiss her.

Right then and there, on the floor of her bedroom, on her sixteenth birthday, while I was wearing old tatty pajamas and we were both stuck in those ridiculous handcuffs.

I don't even care that Sam was there and would have seen us. I just wanted to kiss Lash. I just wanted that, and I would have, I really really would have, if I only knew if she would kiss me back.

But I didn't know.

And so, of course, I couldn't say any of that.

So I didn't say anything.

Notes